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The Gates of Bass Ghost Shop


Why hello there- usually we aren’t accustomed to having guests here after hours. People generally scooch on out at 9:00 PM and leave ole cooter here to clean up their mess. And who can blame them, it sure is a long day buying tackle, feedin the little ones spiced nuts, and traversing the aisles. I don’t rightly mind their presence- but it sure does make my companions here a little stuffed-up HAH HA if you get my gist. Here at the gates of Bass Pro Shop, there are many ways to start a journey through the underworld. You could look for a form of protection. Or perhaps a weapon. Maybe you are just here to browse. I find that is what most people do here.  They wander through this faux marsh land, eyes as white as a deer caught in the headlights. Fingertips tracing over a pair of Carhart pants and imagining a lifestyle where they will use this $70 dollar purchase to the very last dime. How do you develop a relationship to the land when you’ve been cut off from it so desperately?  Baby steps. When your 9- 5 is in front of a computer with climate control, you are not ready to step into mother nature’s mosquito’s kiss. You need an in-between. A corporate amalgamation of “the great outdoors”.

And honestly, who could blame you? Who has privacy? Where can anyone go where a solitary thought can be formed without the peanut gallery coming after you. You know who doesn’t give a shit about your opinions? Moss doesn’t give a shit. You know who doesn’t care what you look like? Lichen. You know how you solidify your tether to this worlds? Watching the life drain from something else’s eyes. How do you ensure you don’t waste that life? By not wasting your own.

So we get these souls, searching for meaning. Neither good nor bad. Just sort of here.

When they leave at night, the slippage between nature and the simulation becomes faulty. The uncanny valley dries up and a representation might as well be the real thing. The metaphor is the reality. So clutch on tight to your map, dear visitor and walk through the depths of Bass Ghost Shop!

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